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Simple question. how do i make this better?

  • im writing a tragic love story and this is my ending line. I need


  • It depends what your love story is about. If it is about about a man/lady who HASN'T found love but has tried throughout the story - maybe it should end:

    Maybe one day I will be able to reach out my hand and grasp what I have been searching for. And pull it close to me. Like it has been mine forever. Maybe one day, one day........

    Or if he/she has found love in the story, maybe this will be appropriate:

    So that was the day, the moment, that my wish, came true......

    However, if your ending line is I need and none of these have solved it, maybe consider putting pauses in it to give it some tense and maybe repeat it like the first example I did:

    Maybe one day, one day.

    But I think I need is a great cliffhanger - if this is the atmosphere you would like to create.

    I hope this has helped and I wish you luck that your story will become a bit hit. Thank-you.


  • Your kisses are sweeter than wine. They make me drunk. You've turned me into a kissaholic. All I want is you.

    Mary was blind and John wanted to marry her.
    She told John I won't marry you until I can see.
    Then Mary was told someone had donated some eyes for her.
    After the operation and she could see the nurse brought in a visitor.
    It was John who then asked her.."Will you marry me now?"
    Mary looked at John and saw that he was blind. She thought for a second and said "No, I don't want to be stuck with a blind man."
    As the nurse took John out of the room he stopped and said..
    "OK Dear, please take care of my eyes."


  • the ending line needs to get more information
    your tragic love story:
    The days of love
    Flying in the air with two white doves
    but you don't need enough
    air to bluff in the sky
    so high
    you might die
    but not now
    so I need a Hat
    so I could pet a Cat
    as a sleeping mat
    the cat that never eats rats
    so I need love.....







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    March 22nd, 2010 at March 22, 2010 |  | Permalink